The Four Agreements

This morning I've been reflecting on the seemingly simple concepts in the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.  About two years ago I was having a nice, quick watercooler chat with Donna Bulger, a woman who has truly been a champion and supporter of me since the day I met her, and she mentioned a book that she had heard of called "The Four Agreements".  Donna had never misguided me so without even reading the reviews on Amazon.com I purchased the book. 

This book is a tiny little gift...a lifechanger.  It's short, it's small...but what it's lacking in length or size it makes up for in the punch it packs when it comes to personal freedom.  The concepts are simple...so simple that it might seem "too simple to be true" for some...but hard, hard, hard to put into practice.  The four agreements are:

• Be Impeccable with Your Word
• Don't Take Anything Personally
• Don't Make Assumptions
• Always Do Your Best

To be impeccable with your word means to not speak badly against yourself or others.  To tell the truth.  To not gossip.  The power of your words will determine if you have negative energy seeping through and out of your body or if you have positive energy pulsing and coursing through you and out into the world! 

When I tell people the second agreement I hear a lot of groans and see a lot of eyes roll.  We are a culture of people who take things personally, make things about us that don't need to be about us.  The second agreement reminds us that "nothing other people do is because of you.  It is because of themselves." (The Four Agreements, p. 48)  This means nothing that they say, on either end of the spectrum, is about you...nothing negative is about you and neither is anything positive...it's all something they need to do or say.  This is a reminder that external validation is never what we should be seeking...self-worth can only be found within. 

When we make assumptions we become unable to honor the first two agreements.  When we make assumptions about things, that becomes our reality...and that leads to taking things personally which leads to emotional reactions that can involve blaming and shaming ourselves or others.  Questioning for clarification and the truth is essential. 

And always do your best.  These are simple yet very hard concepts to put into practice.  Some days you will do much better than others.  Set your intentions to do the best you can each day and be kind to yourself if it wasn't as great as you had hoped...be kind to yourself and try again tomorrow!