I turned 40 this week and that seems like a pretty grown-up number...I don't feel very grown up at all, I feel playful, young, loving and refreshingly not too serious!
I just adjusted my nameplate and my coffee mug full of pens in my office and thought...offices are for grown-ups! And I am the primary dinner-maker in my family and that person (in my experience) is usually a grown-up! And I'm the second oldest person in my house, the third and fourth oldest being 15 and 10 and that makes me married and a parent which makes me a grown-up! And I have a great steady job that allows me to contribute financially to my family and that makes me a grown-up!
So why is it that I feel so young at heart?
I have an office where people come and we talk through struggles they are dealing with, and often by sharing a struggle I've experienced it helps them feel free to speak more openly and honestly. I think that getting things off our chest with people worthy of hearing our story is incredibly refreshing. Getting a weight off of your shoulders is certainly going to make you feel lighter and happier.
I love cooking dinner! I wish I learned how to cook dinner earlier...that it hadn't been seen as a "grown-up" task...and so I am open and excited that my 10 year old daughter often asks to help me. She is starting small, mixing the pancake batter or putting the dry rub onto the ribs, but her small acts are a big help and a huge confidence booster for her cooking abilities! It's a fun activity that we get to do together and in those moments we aren't 10 or 40, we are two gals helping each other out in the kitchen, laughing and enjoying ourselves along the way!
Being a parent is so much fun...going to soccer games, watching movies, riding on the Ripstik (which I haven't nearly mastered yet...but I'm determined), talking about school and friendships, going on vacations, helping with homework, carting kids to and fro while listening to their music...most of the time. It's also heartbreaking at times, frustrating at times, infuriating at times. By choosing to spend more of our time celebrating laughter, song, dance, play, rest, creativity, gratitute and joy, we build a resilient spirit to get us through the harder times. (The Daring Way™ Model, Brené Brown) Laughing with my family is one of my favorite things in the whole world! Being married and ending every day holding hands on the couch, laughing with my best friend is one of the things I'm most grateful for.
And though I do have a wonderful job that allows me to contribute financially to my family, it's not just a job...I absolutely love what I do. I am reminded of this quote by Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” By doing what I love every day I get to come alive every day! What a feeling...loving what you do and looking forward to it most days! (Not all days, mind you...)
Getting to this point in my life where I feel such inner happiness and inner peace has been a long and difficult journey at times...I've struggled with comparison, perfectionism, fear of what people think, need for certainty, anxiety and definitely taking myself too seriously and I'm so grateful for the people and experiences that have come into my life to help me get to such a fun loving place!
In what ways do you stay young at heart? What do you still need to work through to get to the place where you feel more at peace inwardly? Do you struggle with any of the struggles I mentioned above? What support do you need to get to the next step?
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Blessings and Gratitude
Just a quick little blog because my heart is about to explode for how lucky I feel! Nothing earth shattering has happened, and yet I was overcome with feeling...for how lucky I am, love for the people in my life who are such blessings...and I feel compelled to express my gratitude for all of it. I am so fortunate to have the love and support of my family and friends, a supportive and safe community that extends further than I can imagine sometimes. Thank you to everyone and everything that makes my heart fuller and fuller!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
The Four Agreements
This morning I've been reflecting on the seemingly simple concepts in the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. About two years ago I was having a nice, quick watercooler chat with Donna Bulger, a woman who has truly been a champion and supporter of me since the day I met her, and she mentioned a book that she had heard of called "The Four Agreements". Donna had never misguided me so without even reading the reviews on Amazon.com I purchased the book.
This book is a tiny little gift...a lifechanger. It's short, it's small...but what it's lacking in length or size it makes up for in the punch it packs when it comes to personal freedom. The concepts are simple...so simple that it might seem "too simple to be true" for some...but hard, hard, hard to put into practice. The four agreements are:
When I tell people the second agreement I hear a lot of groans and see a lot of eyes roll. We are a culture of people who take things personally, make things about us that don't need to be about us. The second agreement reminds us that "nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves." (The Four Agreements, p. 48) This means nothing that they say, on either end of the spectrum, is about you...nothing negative is about you and neither is anything positive...it's all something they need to do or say. This is a reminder that external validation is never what we should be seeking...self-worth can only be found within.
When we make assumptions we become unable to honor the first two agreements. When we make assumptions about things, that becomes our reality...and that leads to taking things personally which leads to emotional reactions that can involve blaming and shaming ourselves or others. Questioning for clarification and the truth is essential.
And always do your best. These are simple yet very hard concepts to put into practice. Some days you will do much better than others. Set your intentions to do the best you can each day and be kind to yourself if it wasn't as great as you had hoped...be kind to yourself and try again tomorrow!
This book is a tiny little gift...a lifechanger. It's short, it's small...but what it's lacking in length or size it makes up for in the punch it packs when it comes to personal freedom. The concepts are simple...so simple that it might seem "too simple to be true" for some...but hard, hard, hard to put into practice. The four agreements are:
- Be Impeccable with Your Word
- Don't Take Anything Personally
- Don't Make Assumptions
- Always Do Your Best
When I tell people the second agreement I hear a lot of groans and see a lot of eyes roll. We are a culture of people who take things personally, make things about us that don't need to be about us. The second agreement reminds us that "nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves." (The Four Agreements, p. 48) This means nothing that they say, on either end of the spectrum, is about you...nothing negative is about you and neither is anything positive...it's all something they need to do or say. This is a reminder that external validation is never what we should be seeking...self-worth can only be found within.
When we make assumptions we become unable to honor the first two agreements. When we make assumptions about things, that becomes our reality...and that leads to taking things personally which leads to emotional reactions that can involve blaming and shaming ourselves or others. Questioning for clarification and the truth is essential.
And always do your best. These are simple yet very hard concepts to put into practice. Some days you will do much better than others. Set your intentions to do the best you can each day and be kind to yourself if it wasn't as great as you had hoped...be kind to yourself and try again tomorrow!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Before you were 12 years old...
I am a loyal follower of Glennon Doyle Melton's blog www.momastery.com, and she wrote something a few days ago that has really got my wheels spinning!!!! And I'm, of course, hoping to pass the spinning on to YOU, My Friends, in the hopes of getting to know you better!!!
Glennon wrote, at the end of her most recent blog post:
Glennon wrote, at the end of her most recent blog post:
AH! 12 years old. That’s when it happens.
That’s when we start looking to find our joy in other’s expectations and boys
and magazines and cigarettes and food and we start getting buried. Go back.
Before you were 12. What did you love?
I love this question and it really helped me come up with some things for the first time in a long time! I have been asked by countless people (ok, maybe just a couple of therapists) "What do YOU want?" "What would make YOU happy?" My answer is always something eloquent and gracious like, "WHAT on EARTH do you mean? I haven't a CLUE!!!!!"
But when posed with the question of what did I love before I was 12 years old...I came up with a list fairly quickly! Here's mine:
1. playing softball
2. making toad houses out of Kleenex boxes with grass and a little cut Dixie cup of water for the toad to drink from
3. playing outside in my jammies after a bath on a summer evening
4. rollerskating
I really want to hear what your lists are! If it's too difficult to comment on this blog (I've gotten that feedback), please email me with your list: andreastgeorge@yahoo.com. Who knows, maybe we can have a little old school fun this summer!!!
Love you!!!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Introverts....Unite!
Darin found this image and sent it to me...when I received it I chuckled and I was actually very touched, because as much as I know he knows and appreciates this about me...I know he can't really relate to it personally too much...and that makes me extra grateful for little reminders like this:
A few weekends ago we were invited to a charity breakfast and I'll be honest, I was totally unprepared for the reality of the situation. In theory it sounded wonderful, supporting a cause that is very important to a friend and therefore very important to us, seeing friends, eating a meal together with families we love, music, raffles, excitement...my extraverted husband and older daughter were in heaven! Me and younger daughter? Sort of wicked totally unbelievably uncomfortable and stressed out. Let's just say we said our hellos, ate very quickly and got out of there.
By the time we hit the parking lot, little one was ok, she skipped to the car in fact. Just the overstimulation of all of those different factors...music, microphones, breakfast lines, people she didn't know, everyone taller than her, noise, noise, NOISE!!!! She didn't list any of this but I know...because, well...because I know. (except most people were about my height)
I was a little white knuckled on the way home, it takes me a little more time to relax than little one. I told Darin, "I'm going to have an annual Introvert Charity Breakfast...and no one is invited!!!!! We will make breakfast and hand it to folks like take out!!!"
Anyone want to attend? ;-)
A few weekends ago we were invited to a charity breakfast and I'll be honest, I was totally unprepared for the reality of the situation. In theory it sounded wonderful, supporting a cause that is very important to a friend and therefore very important to us, seeing friends, eating a meal together with families we love, music, raffles, excitement...my extraverted husband and older daughter were in heaven! Me and younger daughter? Sort of wicked totally unbelievably uncomfortable and stressed out. Let's just say we said our hellos, ate very quickly and got out of there.
By the time we hit the parking lot, little one was ok, she skipped to the car in fact. Just the overstimulation of all of those different factors...music, microphones, breakfast lines, people she didn't know, everyone taller than her, noise, noise, NOISE!!!! She didn't list any of this but I know...because, well...because I know. (except most people were about my height)
I was a little white knuckled on the way home, it takes me a little more time to relax than little one. I told Darin, "I'm going to have an annual Introvert Charity Breakfast...and no one is invited!!!!! We will make breakfast and hand it to folks like take out!!!"
Anyone want to attend? ;-)
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Gratitude
My family just returned from a really fun long weekend in Lyndonville, VT at a place that has becomem a winter St. George Tradition, The Wildflower Inn.
It is so beautiful here that it is easy to look around and be absolutely filled with gratitude for so many different things...the sheer beauty of this part of the world, the ability to see and take in this beauty, the fortune of a healthy family that can sled and skate and eat cookies and play foosball and air hockey, a car that can get us safely to the destination 4 hours from home...you can see how the list can go on and on...
So when things are humming along well, gratitude is easy. Do we always remember to express our gratitude? Maybe not. Do we take the good times for granted? Maybe sometimes. I'll tell you, I looked out at the beautiful VT mountains a bunch of times over the weekend and smiled and took deep breaths of air and had to consciously remind myself to say "Thank you" for this beauty. For this vacation. For this family. For the dog lover taking care of the pups. For the friends who not only were taking care of the cat but also came over, went through Emily's backpack, found her Knufflebunny, brought it to the post office and had it overnighted to us in VT. (Oh my goodness THANK YOU for blessing us with friends like these!) For the innkeeper who spent time chatting with us every day and who was invested in seeing Knufflebunny arrive on time.
So imagine when things are NOT humming along well...if you're down or a situation just seems difficult, rotten or hopeless, imagine how tough it is to remember to practice gratitude in those moments. I know I've written about this before but it's really so important to remember the things that you are grateful for in the tough moments. For instance...I expressed (easily) gratitude above for the car that safely transported us the 4 hour drive...but here's the actual visual from the drive...I white-knuckled it the entire trip there! It was dark, the road was (maybe) covered in black ice (warned the signs), the kids were watching movies in the backseat and Darin was having some fun conversations with friends via his iPhone and I was scared! I reminded myself several times during the trip to relax (grip on the steering wheel loosened) and to remember how grateful I was to have a safe car, a happy, healthy family, the great luck to be vacationing in such a beautiful place (shoulders relaxed a bit). Next thing you know I see brake lights ahead...welcome back, tense shoulders and white-knuckles!!!
Yet another opportunity to practice gratitude...
So when things are humming along well, gratitude is easy. Do we always remember to express our gratitude? Maybe not. Do we take the good times for granted? Maybe sometimes. I'll tell you, I looked out at the beautiful VT mountains a bunch of times over the weekend and smiled and took deep breaths of air and had to consciously remind myself to say "Thank you" for this beauty. For this vacation. For this family. For the dog lover taking care of the pups. For the friends who not only were taking care of the cat but also came over, went through Emily's backpack, found her Knufflebunny, brought it to the post office and had it overnighted to us in VT. (Oh my goodness THANK YOU for blessing us with friends like these!) For the innkeeper who spent time chatting with us every day and who was invested in seeing Knufflebunny arrive on time.
So imagine when things are NOT humming along well...if you're down or a situation just seems difficult, rotten or hopeless, imagine how tough it is to remember to practice gratitude in those moments. I know I've written about this before but it's really so important to remember the things that you are grateful for in the tough moments. For instance...I expressed (easily) gratitude above for the car that safely transported us the 4 hour drive...but here's the actual visual from the drive...I white-knuckled it the entire trip there! It was dark, the road was (maybe) covered in black ice (warned the signs), the kids were watching movies in the backseat and Darin was having some fun conversations with friends via his iPhone and I was scared! I reminded myself several times during the trip to relax (grip on the steering wheel loosened) and to remember how grateful I was to have a safe car, a happy, healthy family, the great luck to be vacationing in such a beautiful place (shoulders relaxed a bit). Next thing you know I see brake lights ahead...welcome back, tense shoulders and white-knuckles!!!
Yet another opportunity to practice gratitude...
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Happy 2014!
We are finally on the other side of weeks of festivities, including holidays and many family birthdays. I am grateful for the friends and family that we are blessed to have in our lives to help us celebrate and make this time of year truly magical and celebratory! Although, I have to say, all year long is truly magical and celebratory for us BECAUSE of the wonderful friends and family we are so fortunate to surround ourselves with!
I am about to get carried away with photos...please bear with me! This little spider monkey reminds me to play and be active and be resourceful and be strong! I have more than one photo of this kiddo performing this activitiy, I have it from several angles because no matter where I am in the house, I love snapping a picture of Emily way up there...
This photo really melts me because I love seeing Taylor being so tender and gentle with her tiniest baby cousin, Kendall, and so mature and then I'm like...WAIT!!!! Where's the sweaty 7 year old on the monkey bars that I first fell in love with? Why is she so grown up? Well she is, and it's a beautiful thing...and look how sweetly she loves her cousin...
Ok...is this the most classic photo of all time or what? Two humans, both filled with childlike wonder and curiosity, casually hanging out, safe and happy to be together and just stare at balloons...life is good, people...thank you to Kellyn and her Uncle Darin for reminding us to enjoy the small joys in life!
And last but not least, for today...my sister-friend Deanna between me and her big girl, Kellyn. Dee makes me laugh like crazy every single time I talk to her. Every. Single. Time. She is hysterically funny, so much fun, such a great friend, incredible mother to those two baby girls and our family has been completely blessed by her. Awesome selfie...
The holidays can be tough, with so much running around, so many parties and highs and lows...I know every season that I already can't wait for it all to be over and then I tell myself not to wish it away! It's Darin's favorite time of year and Emily's too, so I want to savor every celebration! Sometimes I don't though and all I can do is be kind to myself because I'm doing the best I can...we all are, aren't we?
I am about to get carried away with photos...please bear with me! This little spider monkey reminds me to play and be active and be resourceful and be strong! I have more than one photo of this kiddo performing this activitiy, I have it from several angles because no matter where I am in the house, I love snapping a picture of Emily way up there...
This photo really melts me because I love seeing Taylor being so tender and gentle with her tiniest baby cousin, Kendall, and so mature and then I'm like...WAIT!!!! Where's the sweaty 7 year old on the monkey bars that I first fell in love with? Why is she so grown up? Well she is, and it's a beautiful thing...and look how sweetly she loves her cousin...
Ok...is this the most classic photo of all time or what? Two humans, both filled with childlike wonder and curiosity, casually hanging out, safe and happy to be together and just stare at balloons...life is good, people...thank you to Kellyn and her Uncle Darin for reminding us to enjoy the small joys in life!
And last but not least, for today...my sister-friend Deanna between me and her big girl, Kellyn. Dee makes me laugh like crazy every single time I talk to her. Every. Single. Time. She is hysterically funny, so much fun, such a great friend, incredible mother to those two baby girls and our family has been completely blessed by her. Awesome selfie...
The holidays can be tough, with so much running around, so many parties and highs and lows...I know every season that I already can't wait for it all to be over and then I tell myself not to wish it away! It's Darin's favorite time of year and Emily's too, so I want to savor every celebration! Sometimes I don't though and all I can do is be kind to myself because I'm doing the best I can...we all are, aren't we?
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